it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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