am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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