my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
