and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
