i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
