Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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