I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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