Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
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Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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