you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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