Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
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Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
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But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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