We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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