i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
