We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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