I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
It's Friday. Sex?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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