And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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