How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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