sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
