Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
