If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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