Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize