The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
