happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
