I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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