You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize