to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
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