I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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