So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
