I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
