did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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