Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
