If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
