I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
