there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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