Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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