You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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