I wish i was in the wii world.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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