"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
