D3 body, D1 cock
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
