i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.