Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend