She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.