You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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