So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
