Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
