dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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