im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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