you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
