Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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