I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
