So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
