Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
