I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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