My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
