Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
