she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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