That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
