The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize