thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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