No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Let's get the cat blown out
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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