happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
