I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize