dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
