I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
